Can and for how long is one permitted respond to being taunted? Disproportional responses. Sarah and Hagar.
Sefer HaChinuch: Do not mistreat any Israelite with words: However it is not understood that if an Israelite came and began to be wicked to pain his fellow with his bad words, that the listener should not answer him. For it is not possible for a man to be “like a stone that cannot be overturned” — moreover, that he will be in his silence like one who concedes to the insults. And in truth, the Torah did not command for a man to be like a stone, silent to those who insult him
Rambam’s Story: There were people in Bagdad that were defaming the Rambam. Rav Yosef ben Gabar was a strong defender of the Rambam and opposed the criticism. He wrote a letter to Egypt detailing the happenings and this is how the Rambam responded.
“What has been reported to us, that there is someone speaking ill of us, and trying to lift his stature by diminishing mine, might be true and might not be true. As well, we have heard that you are protesting their attitudes in my honor, and have been slightly successful.”
The Rambam instructs Rav Yosef “Do not proceed this way.” He explains “we forgive all who act this way based on foolishness. Certainly if there is a purpose to what he is doing that has no substantial affect on us. The halachah is that we force people to not behave like the people of Sedom – which means when one is benefiting and the other loses nothing, we pressure the person to give in.”
Rabbi Moshe Hubner 